by beautybeyondbones I want to first just start out by saying how grateful for I am for my wonderful Patreon supporters. You are the reason why I am still able to do this blog. Even just one or two dollars is so greatly appreciated, and allows me to continue to devote the time and energy into … Continue reading How I Survived Inpatient Treatment for Anorexia.
recovery
Put the Fire Out
I have a confession: one that I’m really not proud of.
But tonight at church, and really for the last couple weeks, I honestly have just felt…nothing.
It’s like I’ve been spiritually numb.
But tonight was different. I was actually getting angry.
I was sitting in the pew, and just inexplicably fuming, being critical of every little thing: the priest seemed arrogant. The pace was too slow. I was literally shooting daggers with my eyes at the elderly woman leading the songs. (A capella, I might add.) Who is this monster I’ve allowed in my thoughts and heart?!
But I was just checked out. And the more I thought about it, the worse it got.
I’m going to be honest: growing up, I had a few episodes of… the silent treatment.
I’m not proud to admit that passive aggressive low blow, but I have been known to give my…
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Strangers on a Plane
There are really two types of people when it comes to airplanes: there are the talkers, and then those who would rather get a root canal than socialize with the person seated next to them.
Admittedly, I am the latter. Earbuds in, sunglasses on – I am a fortress. I am simultaneously praying for a) the plane not to go down, and b) my seat mate to not try to drum up small talk. Priorities, right?
But I love flying, I really do. Riding in an airplane is always a bit of an adventure. You never know who you’ll be sitting by, and for a couple hours, you’re completely out of control, and unplugged.
I was flying back to Ohio today from New York. And there are always a lot of emotions, seeing the intimidating city skyline of Manhattan slowly morph into the lush and fertile Ohio River valley…
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Last Minute Miracles – BeautyBeyondBones
This is now, probably the 19th time I’ve tried to start this post. All unsuccessfully, I might add. And given that it’s 6:00pm, and this post is set to publish in less than an hour, it&… Source: Last Minute Miracles – BeautyBeyondBones
Dear Kathy Griffin…
Being a millennial New Yorker and actor, I’d like to think I’ve got pretty thick skin.
Getting rejected is par for the course in the entertainment industry. The city doesn’t do you any favors — just try battling the check out lines at Whole Foods at 3pm on a Sunday. Heck, even the squirrels seems to have a certain undeniable hutzpah on these streets.
Really, nothing quite comes as a shock to me anymore, for better or for worse.
However.
Earlier this week, opening up my Buzzfeed app to find Kathy Griffin’s infamous photo of her, carrying the bloodied head of a decapitated President Donald Trump…I literally stopped in my tracks.
Just. No.
And I have a few words.
This is not okay. I don’t care how much you hate the President or his policies, that went. too far.
It’s no secret that Donald Trump is one of –…
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Words from A Wise Woman…
This post, is from my mom.
The day after I returned to NYC, I woke up to find this beautiful letter from my mom waiting for me in my inbox.
She asked me to put in on the blog.
And I’m going to be honest, I’m getting anxiety hives thinking about pressing “publish” because…I don’t like writing positive things about myself. But I’m fulfilling the wishes of my mother.
So without further ado….
“Well,this is it. This is the time I’ve been waiting for.
Time to say thanks to my biggest helper and supporter during the last 5 months since my stroke.
Now that you’re back to your life in NYC, it’s time to thank you: Caralyn!
My life has CHANGED! Since my stroke on Dec. 27th, I’ve had to learn how to talk, follow conversation, and ask questions. It’s been hard.
But I have to say, that you, Caralyn have been the most…
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Seeing RED
*sigh* This post is going to be difficult to write.
The saying goes, never judge a person until you walk a mile in their shoes…or something like that.
And I’ve learned over the years that as much as I hate those cliched little nuggets, they actually hold a lot of truth. Stand the test of time.
I’ve been wanting to respond to my recent post on Feminism for a while now. It garnered quite the diverse feedback. And I appreciate that so much. One of the cool things about an online community like this is that people bring with them all their experiences and perspectives. We all are on different journeys, and I sincerely enjoy learning and listening to every person.
After that last post, there were numerous reflections that took offense at my statements about motherhood:
The very essence of being female is the ability to bear children…
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Coincidence??
It’s kind of funny…scrolling through Facebook has become, almost a bit of a luxury here recently. Before, in NYC, it was just another time killer when I was bored or waiting for the subway. But here in Ohio, it’s an extravagance if I have a free 3 minutes to scroll through my FB timeline. There’s just no time.
But yesterday, I was lavished with a few minutes to luxuriate on my phone.
Actually, it was the entire day. I have never received such a thoughtful gift in my life. My brother and sister-in-law surprised me yesterday with an incredibly beautiful day: a trip to the spa and beautiful 5-course dinner at a restaurant that caters to people with stomach issues, cocktails at a fun bowling bar, and sleep over at their place downtown. It was so wonderful.
But while I was sitting in the spa chair, I flipped through…
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Do You Trust Me?
Oh how my days are different these days.
I’ve always been a bit of a night owl, but nowadays, the nighttime is my own personal retreat. When the whole house is asleep, alarm on, and my darkened room is lit with the glow of my overworked MacBook, I can finally breathe. Reflect. Write. Numb out. It is my respite of quiet. Of solace.
Over the past five weeks since my mom’s stroke, I have definitely walked through a lot of emotions.
They say that there are five stages of grief, but I don’t think I’ve even ever allowed myself to “go there” and entertain that mindset of “grief,” because I have nothing to grieve. I believe that my mom is going to get better. Period. I am clinging to that hope. I am demanding that of God.
But tonight was the first night where I just…
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HEZEKIAH’S WALL MINISTRY
HEZEKIAH'S WALL MINISTRY I could hear the sound of a peaceful stream flowing and a brightness began to glow. YHWH then showed me a beautiful and vast field. It was a place where the peaceful waters flowed. Then He turned my attention to a very dark, war torn place. Everything felt cold and looked hopeless. … Continue reading HEZEKIAH’S WALL MINISTRY
YAHWEH-NISSI 