He had flourished whilst away from this mean, kinda toxic group. (reddit)

Q. You find out that the person you met has zero friends and spends all their time alone at home. What is your first thought?

answered by sbxd

Oh man I had this with a friend group a while back. They were talking about a guy having no friends as a reason to not be friends with him (he invited us to his birthday party). I was like ‘um guys I think that just perpetuates the cycle’ but they didn’t really get it. No longer in that friend group and I continue to form my own opinions about people.

Edit: Thank you so much for your upvotes, lovely comments, and the awards 🙂 made my day.

Short answer: I did go to the party!

Long answer:

I made a big deal of being excited about it, made a giant cookie decorated like a coin to bring (he collected coins, which my group thought was the WEIRDEST THING EVER), and got the others to go too.

Here’s the kicker: he didn’t even need us at that party. We had all used to live together (12 rooms in one flat in student halls) and at that time he really did try his best to be part of the clique that was forming, with little success. Eventually we had to move in to 2nd year houses so we wouldn’t all fit in one. I thought I was lucky to get a place in the house with the popular crowd. He had to find people from his course to live with.

Once we got to the party it was obvious he had flourished whilst away from this mean, kinda toxic group. He had a girlfriend and was really tight with his new housemates. I’m pretty sure he just wanted numbers since it was his birthday. I had a really fun time at that party and it made me realise I’d be happier if I wasn’t having to expend energy trying to fit in with these people. I was already the most ‘other’ of all of them and felt like my idiosyncracies were always being commented on. I decided not to renew my lease with them.

I remember waking up to them laughing in the kitchen with the landlord (my room was a little windowless room right next to it) about how stupid I was for not signing a new lease. It’s crazy how fast people can turn on you.

I’m not very close to the dude right now as it’s been a few years, but I think I’ll drop him a message next time I’m in town. He and his girlfriend are still going strong and his Facebook is full of pictures of family and a few friends. Thank you Reddit for dredging up the memory of this learning moment of mine. Remember to be your weird selves always, and don’t trust friends who only care about popularity.

2 thoughts on “He had flourished whilst away from this mean, kinda toxic group. (reddit)

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